Are you sitting at work and do not have an outlet for your frustration and stress? Look no further than the Desktop punching bag. This will allow you to safely let your frustrations out.
See, it's a clever name because free sounds like three, but still practical because if you buy four or more products we'll give you the cheapest one absolutely gratis.
We haven't seen something work on that many levels since we went to a fancy hotel and had a fella press the buttons in the elevator for us.
Which is a weird job to have, if you really think about it. Does he get regular bathroom breaks? Is claustrophobia ever a concern? How many times does he have to fake a laugh at the "this job must have its ups and downs" joke?
But don't think about it for too long. You only have today to capitalise on the multiple-product-purchases-scores-you-discounts-on-discounts offering.